Duncan Got Run Over by a Reindeer
by Larabeelady
Summary: Just a little Christmas Fun.


DUNCAN GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER

To the tune of "Grandma got run over by a Reindeer"

By Larabeelady

Duncan got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve

You may think there's no such thing as Immortals

But me and the Watchers, we believe

As he was walking home that evening

Visions of Dark Quickenings in his head

He didn't look where he was going

Stepped off the curb and got mowed down by Santa's sled

The team stopped up the road after the run-in

And Santa pronounced poor Duncan dead

Then the jolly elf damn near fainted

When Duncan pulled his sword and said "I'll take your head"

Duncan got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve

You may think there's no such thing as Immortals

But me and the Watchers, we believe

The man gasped at Duncan's revival

And took a few hasty steps back

"I didn't realize you were Immortal

I'll give you anything you want, just don't attack"

Duncan apologized to Santa

"I didn't mean to give you such a fright

It's been a really lousy evening

And I just got finished with a fight"

Duncan got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve

You may think there's no such thing as Immortals

But me and the Watchers, we believe

When he got to the barge after the mishap

The roaring fire had the room all aglow

And Amanda in her teddy

Was waiting for him underneath the mistletoe

She led him over to the fireplace

And motioned him onto the comfy rug

She poured a glass of eggnog punch

And proceeded to smother Duncan in a hug

Duncan got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve

You may think there's no such thing as Immortals

But me and the Watchers, we believe

After relaxing by the fire

Duncan went to take a bath

What he saw upon returning

Was enough to raise even Duncan's wrath

He stalked over and pulled back the covers

And found Kenny in his bed

The kid was curled up next to Amanda

So Duncan dumped the bowl of punch on Kenny's head

Duncan got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve

You may think there's no such thing as Immortals

But me and the Watchers, we believe

Kenny came awake with a sputter

And Duncan slammed him up against the wall

"I've had just about enough of Immortals

That come to visit without benefit of a call"

Duncan got into Kenny's face

"I'm not sure what is your goal

But if you don't start behaving

Santa's gonna fill your stocking up with coal"

Duncan got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve

You may think there's no such thing as Immortals

But me and the Watchers, we believe

Kenny just laughed at Duncan

"Everyone knows that Santa's just a myth.

If you expect me to believe that,

You don't know who you're dealing with."

Duncan glared broodingly at Kenny

And said "I'll make a bet with you

If I can prove that Santa is real

You'll leave me alone and my friends, too."

Duncan got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve

You may think there's no such thing as Immortals

But me and the Watchers, we believe

Kenny closely studied our hero

Trying to see if it was a trick

"Do you agree?" Duncan asked him

"If Santa's real, to your promise you will stick?"

Kenny agreed and the two Immies shook on it

And Duncan called Santa on his phone

When the reindeer came in for a landing

Kenny's eyes got wide and he let out a groan

Duncan got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve

You many think there's no such thing as Immortals

But me and the Watchers, we believe

At Joe's bar later that evening

Methos was drinking his fourth glass of beer

He told Duncan, "I should warn you

Kenny's back in town, in case you didn't hear."

Duncan smiled smugly at Methos

"Old man, I wouldn't worry yourself,

Right now Kenny's at the North Pole

He's gonna be doing some time as Santa's elf!"

Duncan got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve

But as far as our Highlander was concerned

Anything was worth making Kenny leave!


End file.
